Sex is made out to be this wonderful, beautiful, magical moment that connects two souls and allows them to be one. However, many students at CSU can say that a lot of their sexual encounters have been less than perfect.
Either by not really knowing the person that well or trying out something scandalous that we read about in Cosmopolitan, there have been plenty of opportunities for everything to go completely wrong.
Although many of us prefer to keep our unfortunate sex lives under wraps, one of our fellow Rammies does not mind giving us all her “dirty deets.”
College Avenue sat down with a CSU senior, who would like to remain anonymous, to discuss her most embarrassing sex stories.
“I’m an open book,” she said, and this is no exaggeration.
As she walked into MoMo LoLo Coffee Shop and took a seat at the table we had ever so carefully picked back in a corner away from the public ear, she pulled out a piece of notebook paper which contained a hefty list of every awkward sex story she could remember.
The very first of these stories happened to be after losing her virginity. She was dating her long-time boyfriend in high school when they decided to have sex for the first time.
Now, for most of us, the awkward part to this story would seem to be the actual sex, especially when you have no idea what you are really doing. But for her, the most terrible moment came a day or two after when her boyfriend’s mother found out.
The mother was extremely upset and told them that her boyfriend had to tell her parents.
“His face turned beet red when he told my mom,” she said. “It was awkward for a while. I told her she couldn’t tell my dad, but then he came into the kitchen crying, and I just yelled, ‘You told him!’”
Although things with her family have cooled down, awkward happenings in this senior’s sex life definitely did not.
Another unfortunate occurrence happened later on in her college life. She had been dating a guy for a while, and when Valentine’s Day rolled around, she wanted to make things extra special. So, she figured, what better way to do so than with handcuffs?
It was Valentine’s Day night and she and her boyfriend were staying in a hotel for the evening. She used the handcuffs on him during sex, but when it came to unlocking him from the bedpost, there was a slight problem. She had forgotten the keys at home.
“I didn’t want to just leave him and go all the way back home,” she said. “So, I had to like stomp them out on the side of the table until he could get out. He said we were never doing that again.”
So, when it comes to awkward sex stories, know that they come in all different shapes and sizes.
Whether it is having to tell your parents that you lost your virginity or accidentally locking your boyfriend to a bed, at the end of the day, they are your own funny little stories that you can laugh about to yourself, with friends or even to a College Avenue reporter.
They are nothing to be ashamed about and nothing to be worried about because after a seriously awkward sexual encounter, it can only go up from there, right?
This article was produced for College Avenue’s Love, Sex, and Relationships issue.