Home. It’s a word that is so simple and yet so complex. When you get to college, the number one question that people ask you is ‘Where are you from?’ For me, that question resulted in me always saying ‘Southern California.’ My hometown is the same size as the undergraduate population at Colorado State University and the likelihood of someone actually knowing what I was talking about is slim to none.
Moorpark, California is about forty minutes away from Malibu and an hour away from Los Angeles. The quaint town was the perfect place to grow up. I never had to worry about my safety and could walk around without checking whether someone was following me. But although it’s picturesque, my relationship with it has changed drastically since coming to CSU.
I’ve made so many close friends and built a strong community in Fort Collins, so heading back to my hometown for holidays, while exciting, can also feel sad. Although I have my family and a few friends back home, it feels as if I’m a stranger in the town I grew up in.
People often say that they feel as if they revert back to their 17-year-old self when they come home, and for me, that couldn’t be more true. Back under my parents’ roof, going to my high school’s events to see my sister dance and always running into people from my graduating class in Target makes me feel like I’m still in high school.
The newest construction in Moorpark has also recently created a disconnect between my roots and me. Every time I go home, there is another rolling hill that is being demolished for new housing to be put in, or a new building on High Street. The city that I once knew like the back of my hand now has me pausing and wondering what I missed.
In this photo story, I tried to encapsulate how the relationship between a college student and their hometown feels like. From seeing the ever-changing city, to the graduation gown that just sits collecting dust in my closet, a reminder of how involved I used to be in my city, there is always an underlying feeling of sadness when I return home. Who knows if one day that will change, or if I will always feel like a stranger in the town I used to roam freely, but one thing is for certain: No matter where I end up after graduation, Moorpark will always be a part of me, for better or for worse.
